Day Three: Formula?

So yesterday I go to pick up Bonzo and day care lady asks, "So are you planning to begin formula with him any time soon?" Um, no. We chat for a few minutes about how much he slept, and then she asks, "How old is he again? Three months?" Yes. "At four months you might try adding some cereal." At this point Daughter (who is my age or a couple years younger) steps in diplomatically and says, "You'll have to see what the pediatrician says." I really appreciate Daughter, and if it were just her taking care of Bonzo full-time, life over there would be pretty good. We've figured out that a lot of this could be considered a location problem: we're taking the Bug to this woman's house, where she's living with her family and helping to raise her granddaughter, and she is definitely the matriarch. So it's pretty natural that by walking into her home, and being significantly younger than she is, and asking for help taking care of our child, she thinks we're assuming some kind of subordinate role to her childrearing expertise. That's why the "suggestions" are getting more direct, such as, "You need to call the doctor today about this crying," and, "You need to use different diapers."

Now, we have several hundred dollars saying that we are, in fact, the decision-makers for this child, and as we have four more days left in this relationship (no, wait! Three and a half!), I'm willing to shrug it off. But I feel a lot of empathy for Daughter, who lives just down the street and depends on her mom to help with the care of her toddler. Daughter sounds like she read many of the same infant-care books that we did, but having two other generations in the house who are bringing the weight of tradition down upon her every time she picks up a toy or a bottle or changes a diaper has got to be tiring. We have really great family who have been supportive of all the things we're trying to do with Bonzo, and I'm sure they think some of are choices are kooky but they have never questioned any of it. As long as he's safe and healthy and happy, we can do whatever we like, and sometimes I forget that not all grandparents are like that. We are really fortunate to have the family we do, even though I wish they were not so far away.

So in just a week we'll be out of this day care, and into a group that will be filled with germy toddlers but also a much more supportive group for our Bug (and hopefully, for us as parents!). And I hope that in several months we might see Daughter and her lovely girl around the neighborhood and strike up a friendship on equal terms.