Why nail polish is evil
Sep. 15th, 2010 10:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tropeAll the preschoolers are going to the pet shop, going right away. What does Thomas want? A cat. What does Regan want? A hamster. What does Doug want? A squid.
That's right, folks, giant squid.
***
Back to how to wreck your evening using nail polish:
1) Morning: Paint toenails in order to wear sandals (ill-advised after Labor Day anyway)
2) Morning: Paint preschooler's toes in order to convince him to get off the potty.
3) Evening: Decide that your fingernails should be painted the same color as toes. Paint fingers with two coats of purple nail polish during kid's bath.
4) Decide to touch up a toe and spill polish all over bath mat, tub, and marble floor.
5) Write off bath mat. Clean floor with toilet paper, then acetone, and then water. Extract kid from tub.
6) Kid spills water over entire floor. Clean up water.
7) Examine grody and matted nails, shake out the last drops of nail polish reomover and hope it will remove all 10 nails' worth.
8) On nail #4, flick nail polish remover into eye and spend 10 minutes flushing with water.
9) Snap at kid when he asks to have remaining toes painted purple.
So here's the question: stop before work and buy more nail polish remover, or try to repaint fingernails and pretend the whole thing never happened?
That's right, folks, giant squid.
***
Back to how to wreck your evening using nail polish:
1) Morning: Paint toenails in order to wear sandals (ill-advised after Labor Day anyway)
2) Morning: Paint preschooler's toes in order to convince him to get off the potty.
3) Evening: Decide that your fingernails should be painted the same color as toes. Paint fingers with two coats of purple nail polish during kid's bath.
4) Decide to touch up a toe and spill polish all over bath mat, tub, and marble floor.
5) Write off bath mat. Clean floor with toilet paper, then acetone, and then water. Extract kid from tub.
6) Kid spills water over entire floor. Clean up water.
7) Examine grody and matted nails, shake out the last drops of nail polish reomover and hope it will remove all 10 nails' worth.
8) On nail #4, flick nail polish remover into eye and spend 10 minutes flushing with water.
9) Snap at kid when he asks to have remaining toes painted purple.
So here's the question: stop before work and buy more nail polish remover, or try to repaint fingernails and pretend the whole thing never happened?
